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I get out 22:30 to have a coffee and get back home at 05:00.

OK. Finally, Fiona and Jackson "introduced" 2 guys to me what they have said for a long time ago. As MaMa always said " never a bad thing to knew more friends "

um...um...I should said " Thank you " ...um um...

I always wondered why I used to love him that much. I wanted to stop but I can't. I've told myself to stay far away from him but I didn't do it at last.

If I could believe he loves me once, even in 1 second...may be it will be better that at less " we loved each other in 1 second ". But I don't! I never believe that he will love me. So I just thinking about what am I doing.

If something just beyond our control, is seperate the only way for us to solve this problem? If I could figure it out, why can't I solve it? Do something! Kris!

Sigh... I love him. I love him. I love him.

Well... I love me so. If I can't control him. At less I can control myself. At less behavior...isn't it?

Don't do anything silly. Just both me and him will feel hurt if it keeps go on.

Someone said " Why don't you try to make it work? " Can I? I love him tooooooooooo much and anything just out of my control. I didn't do the things I want but I just always do something stupid!

As I told myself for many years to stay far away from someone I love the most! I don't understand why I can not do the same thing this time.

There's still something I want: to keep our relationship as fine. But friendship seems hopeless between me and him. We already go too far and I think it couldn't resume as normal.

Time to stop.
Time to leave.

Girl, you've said it over 1000 times the same thing and when can you make it?

I never want to lose him, from the begining till the end.

But since the day I fall in love. Fate already impact, and yet impact!

I don't want to love him any more. Should any one come to rescue me?

Was it too much to sacrifice? Mostly my love and my feeling...

When time goes by, who will ever remember this such little story between me and him? 

I'm not the one he used to love, not the one he used to spend his heart on. Who am I?

I hate myself why I don't let go! I shouldn't let any one make use unfairly of my heart.

I can tolerate his behavior when he treat me well like friend but not like this! 

He knew it! And I knew it! so what am I waiting for? What am I doing?

If he could not control himself, then what about me? Shouldn't I do something?!

Don't tell me it's becoz of love! It's such a damn silly thing!

Com'on Kris! See how you treat yourself unfairly just becoz of some one you shouldn't fall in love with?

Why can't you just give it up?

All good things happened.

Finally, I got the little lovely bear! My favorate one out of the 6 paddinton. Thanks for those who help me to collect stamps. I was so lucky! No one know what they can get before they paid $$ for the paddington bear, but I only brought 8 then I got the whole set - 6 paddinton bears. What a lucky girl!

And...I can not wait for more...I do received the letter of comfirmation from HKMA PRIME today when I come back home. My application for the programme is successful!!

I've been waiting for almost 10 years after I left school. My brother will finished his university study this summer. It was really fantastic when I read it. I want to yell it out at once. Of cause I didn't do it. It's the G/F lobby. Haha...

I do really want to said thanks to my manager Helen. She really helps me alot whatever my job and my study. At the begining when I told her I want to go further study, she gave me a lots of suggestion and discussed with me. When I got problems with the TA ( tutorial allowance ) application. She just pick up all the information from my desk and go back to her room... um... she sent an email to HR directly to ask for the approval. and also push for the result afterward.

I was really happy and touching these few days. For many things and for many people around me.

OK. I felt upset about someone before. But it's all the things more important then a man in my life happened recently. How can I be mad anymore? I got no excuse to be a happy girl!

I don't care even Duncan asked me " are you really want to be an single old lady (lo goo por) ? " yesterday night. Everyone loves me just want me to find someone and to be settled. But life is short so love could not be a long story, it could only be a memory.

As of my fate, I got everything, just ... I should not care how's love going. Leave it to the future and there will be.

Mama get a new job again, I just hope that she is fine and should not being too tried.

Yeah! When I get back to office and the 1st email is... ok. it's some one " Bye Bye" message.

But the one I concerned is my TA already approved la!! Great news.

I saw Au Mei Mei today! She came back to Kwun Tong office. She's so cute! She read the message in facebook and she just think that I'm the "2nd" of someone.

Ar...no la. I won't do it. He won't let me do it too. As we are not going that way! Sor Por ar~ :P

Life will become more interesting. . .

C O N S I D E R I N G . . .

um... am I really leaving FedEx that fast? But I still have time to learn and to practice gei. Anyway, I am always ready for her at anytime when she really needs me. If the time we have been await for a long time has come, I do.

Hopefully may still have 1-2 years in FedEx or... hum... may be longer, may be... leaving any time. Who knows? As per the world rotated day by day, no one knows what is coming tomorrow. There's always something at/behind the corner. My Uncle told me that. :)

Knowing that Vince has read my blog regularly, I would also like to said thank you! Thanks for sharing, thanks for concern on my days, my feel. And I wished that her health will become more and more fine!

I have been worrying about someone I don't know for few days. $$ is shit, but I do concern on what has been happened recently. Everytime when I asked him how's his friend, he just said something bull shit. What ever his jokingly shit is. I know he do concern on it. Just hope everything is fine. 

fortunately, my salary should be paid tomorrow.

When I got HKD 23.64 balance in my bank account only. I got back some $$ from my friend. Thank god :P

Kei Kei treat every one good not for repay, but for how worth they are. Nothing lose if there's no return but if it really does, I earn more then $$.

$$ is not the only thing I "spent" on my friends, and also love, concern, time, anger, respect or anything I can do! Nothing special but I just want to tell Roy that, I got a lots in this world, not only $. I knew if I got that piece of shit ($) I can do a lot of things, and I need to save $ also. But the $ I give to these people, I already don't care about the result but for their needs ar ma.

Am I too generous to everyone with money? No, but for some people I trusted.

For as I always think that, If the relationship turn over for money, it's really a poor relationship. But of coz... real friend will pay back, and pay more back. haha...

Ai ya... don't want to talk about $. I got $ every end of month ga la.

Talk about my body! I got much better today la. But still always feel tried. May be I sleep not enough at the begining of this week la. And this week end I need to go out with Avis. I hope she will start her business with a successful opening and develope very well in the furture.

I got back home around 12:30 but still up now (01:24) I told Joanne and Avis I need to sleep. Yes, I need to rest. But I don't know why I always don't want to sleep recently.

If I still like this condition, I will die soon... hahaha... need to be a good girl so soon la.

awaiting a confirmation letter ... um... :)